Living on the edge of insanity

So right when you feel you take that deep inhale and think "everything is going A-ok" KA-POW life hits you right in the kisser.

Yea that was me today. Beautiful day outside, the kids were playing having a grand ole time. Next thing I know is i hear Pheonix running to come inside the house and blood is pouring off her hand. Mean while she is screaming and crying that she has blood coming out of her skin. After about five minutes I am finally able to get the story out of little miss drama queen. She said she fell on the fence. Chances are she isn't telling me the whole truth but whatever, she will live and learn. 45 minutes pass by and I am still trying to get the bleeding to stop. NOT WORKING. UGH. So I make the executive decision to brave the E.R. We finally arrive and the triage nurse looks at her finger and says that she does need to be seen....OK GREAT.

So we begin the wait. 30 minutes pass by and I think to myself "Thank god both of the kids are acting alright....what a relief" WRONG. (you would think by now I would know better then to jinx myself when I am alone and have both thing 1 and thing 2) Trenton started climbing under the chairs and next thing you know Pheonix and I begin to smell a HORRID smell. Yup you guessed it ...it was his ass. He had running, watery diarrhea all over the place. FUN FUN. I haul both kids out to the truck in hopes I don't miss them calling Phe to the back. I search through the truck in search of clothes I NEEDED CLOTHES!! I had forgot to replace the outfit in his backpack so we had diapers and wipes and NO CLOTHES!! Just terrific. I came across a pair of jeans on the floorboard thank goodness. I don't even know how long they had been down there but they didn't smell so they were going on him no matter what. After that debacle we get back in the waiting room an maybe 10 minutes later we get called back.

We spent almost 2 hours in the cubicle of hell. I swear they need TVs in the Navy hospital e.r. rooms. I had to try to entertain them while blowing up gloves and threatening the little heathen to DO NOT BITE it. Hearing Thing 1 admantly tell me if she was to HAVE to get stitches that hurt she must have them be pink because that is the color she wants. Then not even 10 seconds later having to tell thing 1 to stop jumping on the bed, that she is suppose to be in pain not in gymnastics. What a pain in the rear end!! SERIOUSLY! I wouldn't wish that one my worst enemy....well if i have any that is. Finally, they decide what they are going to do with her finger. GLUE it ....OK great now get it done. Posthaste! The doctor leaves the room while I have a screaming toddler in the stroller saying "go momma go lets go". He says he will be back shortly with the discharge papers. "Shortly" better be within 5 mins there buddy. Nope we waited about 10 more minutes and NOTHING. Trenton was still wanting to leave so we left. Screw the discharge papers, my nerves were shot and *I* had enough. We left. Just left the room no one said a word. Although I know they were thinking thank god. He was yelling pretty loud, and once he getting going there is no stopping him until he wants to stop.

So there you have it. My kids are not only accident prone they are also bossy, shitters. Great. Can't wait for the teen years.